Never do these 20 things in your cruise ship cabin

Like anything in life, cruising has things you shouldn’t do – particularly in your cabin. I have 20 of these and I’ll also include some clever tricks to help you enjoy your cruise.

Smoke

I don’t have to tell you that smoking stinks, and just for the benefit of your fellow passengers you shouldn’t do it in inappropriate areas– and it isn’t just a preference for your non-smoking fellow passengers, but many actually suffer ill effects from second-hand smoke – for me it gives me nasty sinus headaches. But it’s also a fire risk and if you are caught smoking in your cabin or on your balcony you may be fined, possibly disembarked at the next port and perhaps even banned from the cruise line for life.

Use the shaver power outlet for other appliances

I’m sure you’ve seen them in hotel and cruise cabin bathrooms – those power outlets for shavers only. They’re low powered so as to be safe near water and if you use a hair dryer or other higher-powered device in them you are risking your device and also the electrical system on the ship. Shavers only – although I’ve heard that they’re also fine for charging toothbrushes.

Make loud noises

Cruise cabins aren’t renowned for having great insulation between them. Even with the balcony door shut you can often hear things from the next cabin – loud TVs are a particular offender. Keep the noise down for the benefit of your neighbour and to protect your own privacy – say if you sometimes get a bit carried away in the heat of the moment – you know what I mean!

And if you have the balcony door open the sound travels REALLY easily between cabins! I’ve heard many a conversation that I could easily have started participating in!

You can buy sound deflectors from Amazon to attach to TVs that have a rear facing speaker– this seems to help with the TV noise issue on Oceania Vista, which is renowned for cabin noise.

Get naked on your balcony

You might think your balcony is private but it isn’t! You may be visible from balconies above, or even the reflection in the glass can be visible to a person on the next balcony! And be wary of opening your curtains first thing in the morning in a new port if you aren’t dressed – you may get a nasty surprise! And don’t even think about getting up to, er, adult activities out there! There’s plenty of stories – and videos – on the web about people who did just that!

Leave the balcony door open

Go ahead leave the balcony door open – to be honest we like to keep it open to maximise fresh air! But be mindful that if it’s open and you open the cabin door at the same time, you’ll create a wind tunnel that can make it hard to hold the door open – watch out for jammed fingers! Or it will slam LOUDLY! You may also find that things in your cabin get blown around. And I’ve heard stories about people leaving the balcony door open in port and returning to the cabin to find birds or even bats in there!

Also, leaving the balcony door open will usually deactivate the heating or air conditioning. Now that doesn’t bother us – we prefer fresh air to heating or cooling, particularly overnight. But what we’ve discovered on some ships is that if you’re sailing along at a fast speed you can get whistling or other annoying sounds being made by the air rushing into your cabin and trying to find a way out.

Dry your clothes on the balcony

While we’re on the subject of balconies, it’s usually forbidden to hang clothes out there to dry. Not only does it make the ship look untidy but things can be blown off, and if they go overboard that’s a breach of the cruise line’s environmental commitments.

I use magnets on the ceiling and coat hangers from the wardrobe to hang things to dry – use the hangers with clips on them to hang underwear or swimmers – once I’ve stopped them dripping by rolling them in a towel and stomping on them! I don’t like putting clothes in dryers so even if the ship has a self-service laundry, I still do this.

Steal things from the cabin

Do I have to say it? The robes, umbrella, towels, and large bottles of toiletries are not yours to take. Small toiletries and the slippers are OK but don’t steal the other stuff! You’re likely to find a stiff charge on your onboard account!

Use tape on the walls

red plastic tape dispenser isolated on white background

Never use tape on the walls. Most cabins have metal walls so use strong magnets – now that I’m used to having them in cabins, I wish hotels had metal walls too! Even ships that don’t have metal walls – I’m looking at the Oceania R class ships – have a metal ceiling and cabin door you can use your magnetic accessories on.

Climb on the balcony railing

Back to that balcony – never, ever climb on the railing or the furniture. The majority of injuries and overboard incidents are a result of people doing silly things like this! Please don’t be tempted, you could ruin your cruise and the cruise for the whole ship.

Leave devices charging

You are not supposed to leave your devices plugged in to charge when you aren’t in your cabin. OK this is one we do, but your cabin steward will usually unplug them due to the fire risk. So manage your charging carefully!

Have naked flames

I like to chuck in these obvious ones so everyone has something they can roll their eyes at and say, “well I knew that!” but naked flames are a big no-no. Fire is the biggest risk on a ship so never use candles or incense on a ship – even if they pass security screening.

I confess that we light a match in the bathroom to get rid of smells after using the toilet but it needs to be extinguished properly with water when you’ve blown it out. Some cruise lines may confiscate matches too, so in that case you can use something like Poo Pourri to cover up that nasty stink – we take it as a backup.

Consume mini bar items

There’s no rule against this – I’m sure the cruise line loves it when people consume the mini bar items – but on most cruise lines these items are NOT free so make sure you understand the cost. And you might find the same or similar items in the included buffet so why incur the expense!

Put anything “else” down the toilet

Here’s one to be aware of that you should NEVER do! The ship’s suction toilet system is a delicate beast and gets blocked REALLY easily. Don’t put anything in the toilet other than toilet paper and what comes out of your bottom! If you block your toilet, it won’t just affect you, it’s likely to affect a row of cabins in your area of the ship. How embarrassing!

Leave a mess for the room steward

This is a courtesy thing but keep in mind that your room steward usually has a lot of cabins to look after – on a recent cruise our steward had to look after 25 cabins and do it twice a day! He kept the cabin spotless, which made our cruise so lovely for us. So don’t leave unnecessary mess. Pick up your clothes and shoes and put them away, put your rubbish in the bin, stack any plates and glasses tidily instead of leaving them lying around the cabin. And make sure you are friendly and polite! The stewards work hard and are a long way from their families for many months at a time so you can have a clean cabin.

Leave young children unattended

We don’t have children, so we’ve never had to worry about this, but never leave young children unattended in the cabin. Apart from the risks of them doing something to injure themselves also consider that it’s a strange environment for them, and they might feel scared and want their mummy or daddy!

Interfere with the safety equipment

Don’t play with your life jacket. By all means put it on and make sure you know what do to in an emergency. But don’t take it out of your cabin unless there’s an emergency or a drill, and don’t interfere with any other safety equipment on the ship. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you why. Oh, and NEVER blow the whistle on the jacket, just think about how many other people have probably done this!

Leave the balcony lights on

And yes, we’re back to the balcony. Please don’t leave the balcony light on all night. It may disturb your neighbour. This happened to us on a recent cruise and while we have no problem sleeping with a bit of light in the room, it did annoy us that we couldn’t look out and see the stars easily and enjoy the darkness of being at sea. Be considerate!

Throw anything overboard

Ships are heavily fined for putting things overboard that aren’t permitted. If you throw anything overboard you can be fined, disembarked at the next port and even banned for life. Why do it?

Fish

Apparently in the olden days you could fish off a cruise ship but these days it’s a big no-no. I’m pretty sure fishing rods would be confiscated but anyway, just don’t do it. I have to wonder, what are you going to do with a fish if you catch one anyway? Ask the chef to cook it? No! You’d just end up with a stinky fish in your cabin!

Use forbidden items

In my video “10 things NOT to pack for a cruise” I talk about some of the items forbidden by cruise lines that will likely be confiscated in security screening, such as irons, steamers and coffee machines. If by some chance you do get them onboard, don’t use them. They’re banned for a reason and its usually safety. Don’t risk your life and everyone else’s.

Now you know what NOT to do, you can learn about cruise secrets, here. Or check out this playlist to learn more about cruising.